My Last Goodbye
by xhidden.tearsx
Summary: A re creation of some events in season 4 about Brooke and Lucas's many goodbyes. "This will be my final tear for love to die. I will not wait here and waste my whole life." BL with minor LP. Summary sucks but give it a chance!


_**I've got to walk away while there's still hope  
Learn to erase the love I know  
And let you go  
'Cause what I thought was love was only lies  
Taking what you want, left me behind  
As my heart dies**_

**_xxxx_**

She left because she had to, not because she wanted to. Lucas was in love with Peyton and even if he couldn't see it she could. Brooke was sick of being lied to and constantly betrayed by the 2 people that meant the most to her.

"**Listen, I know it's been difficult for you lately, losing Keith and your heart condition and giving up basketball. I feel like I've been keeping you close to me to try to protect you from those things. Like I'm hanging onto the two of us for you, but not for me.****"**

"**This is about me. I love you Lucas, and I probably always will, but we go days without having a meaningful conversation. And I used to miss you so much when that happened but it never seemed like you missed me. And I guess because of it I stopped missing you. I mean look at today, there was a horrible accident and you haven't even called me...it shouldn't be like this, Luke. I'm sorry. I can't do this anymore."**

"**I'm sorry."**

"**Yeah, me too."**

Bits and pieces of the night she left Lucas's house in tears played through her mind like a film, flooding her every thought. The words seemed to roll off her tongue as she spoke but did she really mean them? No, she didn't. Well maybe to some degree she did but deep inside Brooke Davis knew that the only reason she left Lucas is because of Peyton and the insecurities that they had caused her. The lies, the betrayals, they had all become factors contributing to the weak and fragile state that her heart was in today. They had all been the reason that she put up invincible walls around her heart, to guard it from getting broken yet again. Brooke Davis was an extremely strong girl but heartbreak was the one thing that she couldn't survive. Watching Lucas and Peyton together was like a suckerpunch right in the gut. Brooke would never forget the night of her 18th birthday; it was forever imprinted in the back of her mind. The image of Lucas wrapping his arm around Peyton's shoulders as the two laughed together in unison burned in the back of her mind. It especially hurt because Lucas looked happy, happier than he did when he was with her. Even though her heart felt like it was no breathing, like she had nothing left to live for she knew that she had to let Lucas be happy. It wasn't fair to keep making him live in misery, dealing with her constant insecurities and accusations. So she did the one thing she could think of, she simply let him go.

_**So here we are again  
Knowing this will never end  
So I must let go**_

This is my last goodbye  
Leaving all the memories of you behind  
I will not wait here  
And waste my whole life  
Waste my whole life

xxxx

* * *

"Brooke…" Lucas whispered softly as he approached the brunette. She was sitting on the picnic bench at the rivercourt staring out at the water hopelessly. The basketball banquet had just ended and Lucas had noticed that Brooke had disappeared so he went to the one place he figured he would find her, the rivercourt.

"Hey Luke," she offered him a weak smile as he sat down next to her and wrapped an arm around her shoulder.

An uncomfortable silence washed over them as they sat together both gazing out at the water. Finally Brooke spoke, "What are we doing Lucas?"

Lucas looked at her rather confused, "What do you mean what are we doing?"

"This," she motioned between them. "I mean being each others' dates for the banquet and the wrapping our arms around each other. I thought it was over so why are we still acting like we're together?"

Lucas thought about it for a moment. "Because I still love you Brooke and I still want to be with you."

Brooke shook her head violently. "We are not together Lucas. I broke up with you remember? You can stop acting like we are anything more than friends and I'm not even sure if we are even that."

"We're still friends Brooke," Lucas whispered quietly as he placed a comforting hand on her knee.

Brooke quickly brushed it off. "I don't think so Luke. We've never been just friends and I don't think we'll ever be. With us it's either we are in a relationship or we're not in each others' lives at all." Her voice came out bitter and harsh but it was the truth.

Lucas looked at her, his expression somewhat angry. "Why can't we be friends Brooke? I'm friends with Haley and Peyton."

Brooke shook her head. Here it comes she thought. "You and Peyton aren't just friends."

"Brooke, don't even go there. How many times do I have to tell you that Peyton and I are just friends? My heart belongs to you pretty girl." Lucas was getting extremely frustrated. Why was it so hard for Brooke to see that they were meant to be?

"No it doesn't Lucas! You just like the idea of you and me. It doesn't matter whether you love Peyton or not, it still doesn't change the fact that you and I are not meant to be. You're not the guy for me and I'm not the girl for you. Why the hell can't you accept that?" Brooke screamed, her face becoming red with fury.

Lucas shook his head and let out a long and bitter laugh, "It seems like never even loved me Brooke. It seems like you're always looking for a fucking excuse to push me away so your heart doesn't get broken again."

"Like I never loved you Lucas? I spent the last fucking year and a half loving you unconditionally. I gave you everything I fucking had and what did I get in return? A Broken heart, a fistful of lies, several betrayals, and a broken friendship with my best friend, so don't give me any of that Lucas. You were my whole world and you fucked everything up so don't find a way to turn this around on me!"

"You're not perfect either Brooke," he whispered painfully, looking at the ground as he spoke. "During our relationship I got front row seats to you in Chris Keller in bed, and I spent most of our relationship arguing over pointless things or listening to you bitch about me and Peyton."

"Fuck you Lucas. You really are an asshole. I wasted almost two fucking years with you and I am done with it. I want you to move on because this really was a mistake," she grumbled coldly, getting up to leave.

* * *

_**I can see you now with opened eyes  
When you come around I realize  
That I don't need you to survive**_

I will not begin  
The fight that we could never end  
So I am letting go

xxxx

Watching him move onto Peyton was even harder than she thought it would be. She watched from the sidelines, disappointment creeping across her face as she watched Lucas and Peyton share a passionate kiss, while confetti fell around them, signaling the winning of the state championships for the Tree Hill Ravens basketball team.

"I can't believe I wasted over a fucking year with you," the brunette head cheerleader grumbled, not joining in on the celebration that was taking place.

"I love Lucas and all but you deserve better so quit beating yourself up over this and have some fun," a small voice whispered, breaking Brooke from her thoughts.

"Thanks Hales but it's still hard you know? Watching the one that told you not even two weeks ago that he still loved you kiss the best friend that he swore he had no romantic feelings for."

"I know Brooke but you're strong and you're better than that. Someday some guy is going to realize what an amazing person you are and he is going to repair your fragile and broken heart. Lucas is an idiot and you clearly deserve better," Haley smiled genuinely as she wrapped an arm around her friends shoulder.

"Go Haley. Go to Nathan, I can see you looking at him and I know that you want to be there with him when he celebrates the big win," Brooke smiled at Haley. "I'll be fine."

"You sure?"

"Yes I'm positive. Now go," she gave Haley a little shove and received a wide smile in return.

"Hey Brooke!" The familiar frantic voice caused Brooke to stop dead in her tracks.

"Where's Peyton?" she asked bitterly as the blonde approached her. "Shouldn't you be celebrating with her? Oh wait you already did that."

"Look Brooke about the kiss…"

Brooke held her hand up, "save it."

"I thought it was me that you wanted standing next to you when all your dreams came true but so much for that."

Lucas sighed, "Brooke there's still room for you too. I want you and Peyton and Nathan and Hales all standing next to me when my dreams come true. They wouldn't be complete without the 4 of you."

"You know it's funny Luke, I thought that I needed you to survive but I don't. You can run off with Peyton and do whatever the hell you want but I know that I deserve so much better," she smirked, her stare hard and cold.

Lucas hung his head, "You're right Brooke you can. Maybe that's why I'm with Peyton. It's because I know that you can do better than me."

Brooke didn't expect that at all, "Whatever Lucas, I'm leaving."

With that she walked away before another fight could break out because their fights really were pointless and stupid.

* * *

_**This is my last goodbye  
Leaving all the memories of you behind  
I will not wait here  
And waste my whole life  
Waste my whole life...**_

My passion, my poison  
The life and death of me  
I can't take you taking everything  
From a love never meant to be

xxxxx

Their love was never meant to be. But still watching Peyton and Lucas sway together to the music rhythmically made her feel sick to her stomach.

Brooke stood at the punch bowl, which was really just alcohol in disguise and looked on bitterly. She'd come with Mouth but he'd ran off with Rachel leaving her alone. A tap on her shoulder startled her and caused her to whip around.

"Wanna dance?" he asked, a grin spread across his face.

"You have some nerve asking me that. Besides, where is your precious Peyton?"

Lucas shrugged nonchalantly, "Come on Brooke, just one dance?"

Truth is they haven't talked much since the Ravens won the championship but maybe this could be her final closure with Lucas. Maybe it could be the final thing allowing her to move on with her life.

"Fine," she mumbled quietly as she accepted his awaiting hand.

Strangely, it didn't fit perfectly with his. She gave him an awkward smile as he put his arms around her waist.

"So how are you Brooke?" he asked genuinely, giving her an encouraging smile.

"I've been doing okay. Just making it through you know?"

He nodded his head and asked her the question that had been haunting him for a while now. "So I heard you got accepted into NYFI."

She nodded her head, "yeah I did."

"That's great Brooke. I hope you get everything you wanted because you deserve it all. You deserve a man that can give you everything you want, everything that I wasn't able to and a career that you can only dream of."

"You couldn't given me everything that I want," she whispered. "But it just wasn't meant to be I guess. You were the one that lifted me up but you were also the one that knocked me down."

"I'm so sorry Brooke," he whispered, resting his head against her shoulder. "I never meant to cause you so much pain."

As the words faded out and the song ended Brooke nodded her head. "I know you didn't but in the end it all hurts just the same." With that she was gone and left Lucas behind, rehashing many memories of him and Brooke and wishing that he could just call her his again.

* * *

_**This is my last goodbye  
This will be my final tear for love to die  
I will not wait here  
And waste my whole life  
With my last goodbye**_

**_xxxx_**

"_**Okay, we're not going to do this. We're not gonna get sad, nothing's gonna change now. We'll all be friends forever, I know it." **_

"_**Look, in four years we'll be right back here. We'll be done with college or wherever we go. Right?" **_

10 friends stood on the rivercourt, each writing their names in paint to distinguish that this was their place and vowing to return in 4 years after their dreams take them to different places. Brooke was headed to New York for fashion. Lucas would stay at UNC and coach basketball as well as study literature. Skills would join him at UNC on a basketball scholarship while Chase and Peyton were both set to head out to LA, Peyton on an internship with Sire Records and Chase to achieve his lifelong dream of becoming a pilot. Rachel would follow Brooke to New York and become a model. Mouth would go to University in Omaha and become a broadcaster. Nathan and Haley would go to the University of Maryland where she would study education and he would play basketball and finally Bevin would stay in Tree Hill and find work wherever. They all had dreams and goals and would soon part ways.

"_**She was fiercely independent, Brooke Davis. Brilliant and beautiful and brave. In two years, she had grown more than anyone I had ever known. Brooke Davis is going to change the world someday, and I'm not sure she even knows it"**_

Lucas's words still repeated in Brooke's head. She was going to change the world someday. She'd already changed his and he'd already changed hers and now she was going to go off and become the person she always had the potential to be but somehow she was going to miss this town and the familiar faces that could be associated with it. Tree Hill was home.

* * *

Brooke slammed her car trunk shut. This was it. Her and Rachel were headed off to New York today to embark on a journey that could change their lives but hopefully not change them, unless for the better of course.

The goodbyes were painful as they hugged each of their friends, never wanting to let go of the memories that they held with each.

"I'm gonna miss you Hales," Brooke whispered as she let go of the petit brunette that she'd grown quite fond of.

"I'll miss you too Brookie but we will still keep in touch," she promised as Rachel moved over nervously to say her goodbyes to Haley. "Good luck in New York and make us proud!"

Brooke nodded and made her way back to the car, which Lucas was leaning against with a cocky smile gracing his handsome face.

"No goodbye for me?" he questioned arrogantly as she rolled her eyes at him in typical Brooke Davis fashion.

"Come here Lucas," she smiled warmly, opening her arms for the blonde that she still loved dearly and probably always would.

Lucas engulfed in Brooke's scent for one last time as they clung to each other, afraid to part. Lucas feared that they would drift away, even further than they already had.

"I love you," he whispered as she broke the contact apart, his hot breath tickling her ear.

"Don't do this now Lucas," she whispered, her eyes closed and her lips pressed tightly together. Nobody was looking, they were all preoccupied so Lucas took the moment to dive in and kiss Brooke with as much passion as he could muster, feeling the taste of her lips on his for one last time. He savored the moment, for it didn't last long. She pulled away and looked at him questioningly but he just smiled. "Remember Davis, the world doesn't stand a chance. I know I sure didn't!"

Brooke looked at him curiously, wondering what the last part meant.

"The first time I met you I fell hard and I fell fast. I didn't stand a chance surrendering to you and I still don't and neither will the rest of the world when you tackle it."

Brooke smiled, "I still love you Luke but it's time to let go and see what the world has to offer. I want you to be happy with your true love Peyton and I am going to go find the guy for me but I will still keep you in my heart. I will never forget."

She gave him one last smile before turning and getting into her car. She waved at the rest of the group and a content smile crept across her face. In four years she'd be back to see what's changed, to see which relationships had survived and which had died, and to see who has made a name for themselves and who hasn't. She could never abandon Tree Hill but for now it was time to make her way into the world and erase the love that she had yet to. When one door closes another one opens. This was just another chapter in what would soon be the great life of Brooke Davis.

* * *

AN: I wrote that in like an hour so it's not that great I know but I had fun doing it and this idea has been bothering me for so long that I had to do it! Story is inspired by the song "My Last Goodbye" by Trading Yesterday. It is absolutely perfect for Brucas with some Leyton undertones thrown in. Anyways review and let me know what ya think!


End file.
